Spanking Dating vs Fetish.com

Short answer: Fetish.com calls itself a kink-positive BDSM community for fetish dating. Its centre of gravity is the forum, with fetish search, messaging, kinky ads, events and munches around it, across every fetish. Spanking Dating is a dating site for spanking alone, where every profile opens with your role, style and limits. Pick Fetish.com if you want to talk kink in a busy forum and find events. Pick Spanking Dating if you want to find a spanking partner to date or play with.

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Side by side

What Fetish.com is

Fetish.com describes itself as the place to find munches, kinksters and events. The forum is the heart of the site: members share their kinks, swap stories and ask questions, and there are trending topics on everything from BDSM events in the USA and UK to particular roles and dynamics. A fetish search helps you find people with specific interests, and members can message, chat and share images. Kinky ads give another way to say what you are looking for.

The site also features a BDSM personality test and sections for events and munches, both online and in person, to help members meet locally. It says every function is available on a smartphone, laptop or tablet, and that membership costs nothing.

Spanking sits among many fetishes there. That breadth suits people who enjoy several kinks, or who mainly want somewhere to talk, read and learn. If your aim is a spanking partner, expect to filter.

What Spanking Dating is

Spanking Dating is a dating site for people who love spanking. Every profile opens with a role, spanker, spankee or switch. Members describe the style of spanking they enjoy, the implements they welcome or refuse, their hard limits and the arrangement they want, whether that is a single meeting, a regular partner, a disciplinary dynamic between adults or a relationship.

When you sign up, you select who you want to meet: men, women, couples and nonbinary people, in any combination. You browse, receive daily suggestions and message people whose profiles fit yours. VIP opens members-only chat rooms and private group chats. The site runs in any browser, and in selected markets there are native apps for iPhone and Android.

Forum first or profile first

The core difference is how each site expects you to meet people. On Fetish.com, many connections start in public: you post in the forum, reply to someone's thread or show up at a munch, and conversations move to messages from there. That suits people who like to get to know someone through what they write and how they engage with others.

On Spanking Dating, connections start with a profile. You read someone's role, style and limits, decide whether they fit, and send a message. There is no public forum to perform in. For people who prefer privacy, or who simply want to get to the point, that is often the more comfortable route.

Events and learning

Fetish.com lists events and munches and has a large forum for advice. Spanking Dating's country guides explain how local scenes tend to work, from munches to socials, and our guides and advice cover profiles, first messages, consent, aftercare and meeting safely. If you mainly want to learn and socialise, a community site is a good place to start. If you want a partner, a dating site will usually get you there sooner.

Privacy and safety

Public forum posts are visible to many people, so think about what you share and how your username connects to your other accounts. On Spanking Dating, conversations are one to one unless you choose a chat room. Optional checks let members earn badges: ID Verification for a Blue Tick, Video Verification with a moderator, and Admin Profile Validation by staff. You can block and report anyone.

On either site, keep identifying details out of photos and text until you trust someone, talk by phone or video before meeting, meet somewhere public first and agree limits and a safeword before anything private. Our safe spanking guide has more.

Moving from a forum to a dating profile

If you are used to meeting people through forum threads, a dating profile asks you to say more about yourself up front. Lead with your role, spanker, spankee or switch. Describe the style you enjoy in plain words, name the implements you welcome or refuse and list your hard limits. Say what you hope for, whether a single meeting, a regular partner or a relationship, and add something human about yourself so people have a reason to write.

When you reach out, mention something specific from the other person's profile and ask one easy question. Keep it non-explicit, accept a slow reply and take no answer as a no. Our first message etiquette and spanking dating profile guides go further.

Which should you choose?

Choose Fetish.com if you want a busy kink forum, events and munches, and dating across many fetishes. Choose Spanking Dating if spanking is what you are looking for and you want every profile you read to start there. Many people do both: a forum for conversation and a dating site for finding someone.

See how other sites compare in the best spanking dating sites and on the comparisons overview.

Questions people ask

Is Fetish.com a dating site?

Fetish.com calls itself a kink-positive BDSM community for fetish dating. It combines a forum, fetish search, messaging, kinky ads, events and munches, so dating is one part of a wider community site.

Is Fetish.com good for spanking?

Spanking is one of many fetishes on Fetish.com, so you will find spankos in its forum and search. If spanking is your main interest, Spanking Dating focuses on it alone, with profiles that start with role and limits.

What is a good Fetish.com alternative for spankos?

Spanking Dating is a good alternative if you want a dating site where everyone shares an interest in spanking and conversations happen one to one rather than in a public forum.

Can I find munches through Spanking Dating?

Our country guides describe how local scenes work, including munches and socials, and a munch or a quiet public place makes a good setting for a first meeting. Spanking Dating itself is a dating site rather than an events listing.

How do I stay discreet on Spanking Dating?

Choose a username unrelated to your legal name and decide which photos, if any, to add. Keep identifying details out of photos and text, and share more only once you trust someone.